A General Theory of Love

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The book is written by three psychiatrists: Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini and Richard Lannon, who are professors at the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine (UCSF). Lewis is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry; Amini, a professor of psychiatry; and Lannon, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry.

The human brain’s ability to interpret and adapt is deeply tied to its neural structures, which shape perception, attachment, and emotional experiences. "Magnets" in the brain allow us to auto-correct errors like "taht" for "that" by relying on idealized mental models, a mechanism that extends to emotional connections. These connections are influenced by neurotransmitters like serotonin, oxytocin, and opiates, which regulate attachment, alleviate emotional pain, and foster bonds. Early experiences, especially with caregivers, shape emotional patterns, or Attractors, that influence relationships throughout life. While infatuation is fleeting and often one-sided, true love grows through mutual understanding and emotional synchronization, leading to "limbic attunement," where partners’ emotional systems align. This deep bond, reflected in shared perspectives and even brain structures, explains the profound sense of loss when a loved one is gone. Understanding these processes reveals how emotions are shaped by both biology and experience, setting the stage for exploring how we can reshape emotional patterns for healthier relationships.

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