Raising a Secure Child

Resumen del libro

Kent Hoffman is a psychologist and one of the co-originators of the Circle of Security (COS) model, which is a relationship-based early intervention program designed to enhance attachment security between parents and their children.

Secure children can be emotionally honest with their caregivers about their needs because they feel comfortable and safe doing so. A caregiver who fosters this type of honesty is someone who balances the support of a child's independence with the tenderness to comfort him or her. A caregiver's disregard for these needs may be a result of early childhood experiences, but this can be dealt with by acknowledging their own aversions and acting against them consciously.

“As hard as it may be to hear, parenting in the direction of emotional health for our children does, indeed, require making healthy choices. But more important than any specific choice is who we are and how we feel as we make that choice.”

“If we want our children to be independent, to go out and take on the world, we have to give them full confidence that they can come back to us as needed. Autonomy and connection: That’s secure attachment.”

“Children who can rely on an adult from birth will be able to rely on themselves when they get older—particularly because they will know when to seek the counsel or comfort of a trusted other.”

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