Polysecure

Jessica Fern

Attachment theory, as developed by John Bowlby and expanded through Mary Ainsworth's "Strange Situation Procedure," highlights how attachment styles form and evolve over time, influenced by life experiences beyond just parental relationships. These styles exist on a spectrum, each with unique strengths, and cultivating a secure attachment is beneficial for all relationships, including nonmonogamous ones. Turning to nonmonogamy, societal attitudes toward it have remained largely unchanged, even as many married individuals admit to infidelity. Consensual nonmonogamy (CNM), distinct from cheating, takes many forms and, according to limited research, often fosters greater trust and less jealousy compared to monogamy. Achieving secure attachment with multiple partners—polysecurity—is possible but requires self-work and intentional effort. Nonmonogamy embraces the inevitability of change, which can be both reassuring and unsettling. While it presents challenges, developing secure attachment within polyamory is attainable by addressing insecurities. The HEARTS framework offers practical tools to nurture secure attachment, emphasizing presence, joy, attunement, rituals, conflict resolution, and self-awareness. Ultimately, successful nonmonogamy is rooted in personal security.

2 min

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Einblick

Worum geht es?

Attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby and expanded through Mary Ainsworth's research, reveals how emotional bonds shape our relationships and evolve over time. This book bridges the insights of attachment theory with the dynamics of consensual nonmonogamy, exploring how trust, self-awareness, and emotional security can flourish in relationships with multiple partners. Through an engaging discussion of challenges, growth, and the HEARTS framework, readers are guided toward cultivating secure attachment styles, regardless of their relationship structure. At its heart, this work emphasizes the transformative power of self-discovery and intentional connection.

Buchzusammenfassung

Jessica Fern is a psychotherapist and public speaker who specializes in trauma and relationships, especially nonmonogamy. Polysecure is her first book.

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Alle Bissen

3 Bites

Building Secure Bonds in Every Relationship

Building Trust and Security in Nonmonogamy

Building Security in Nonmonogamous Relationships

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