People Skills

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Robert Bolton, PhD, is the founder of Ridge Training, a firm that specializes in improving relationships and performance in business, health care, and education.

Listening is a fundamental yet often overlooked skill, consuming 45% of our communication time, though society rarely prioritizes its development. From childhood, individuals are exposed to counterproductive habits, such as inattentiveness and dismissive behaviors, which hinder their ability to truly understand and connect with others. To address this, focusing on skill clusters like attending, following, and reflecting can enhance listening and foster stronger relationships. Effective communication also requires balancing listening with assertiveness, which involves expressing needs respectfully while managing defensive reactions. Reflective listening, a key tool, helps validate emotions and clarify meaning, strengthening connections. Conflict, an inevitable aspect of communication, can either harm or enhance relationships depending on how it’s handled. Differentiating between unrealistic and realistic conflicts is crucial, with the latter offering opportunities for growth through methods like collaborative problem-solving. Additionally, unlearning ingrained communication barriers—such as judgment, imposing solutions, or avoiding concerns—can pave the way for healthier interactions, empowering individuals to build more meaningful connections.

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